A Walk in the Park
by AquilaTempestas
Summary: Tala takes the Blitzkrieg Boys for a walk in the park, but mysteriously disappears. Will his friends be able to find him?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

A Walk in the Park

**Summary**

Tala takes the Blitzkrieg Boys for a walk in the park, but mysteriously disappears. Will his friends be able to find him?

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His heart hammered wildly inside his chest as he nervously extended his arm over the body of water before him. He didn't like parks. Nor did he like water. He preferred high cliff tops where he could view the world. Standing in a park and being surrounded by noisy children didn't exactly give him same experience. Still, he couldn't complain because it was the first time Tala had ever taken his teammates outside.

The Blitzkrieg Boys were known as cruel, tough people… but really, they were simpering cowards highly drugged on steroids with a fetish for wigs. But that was another story for another time. Bryan, the most drugged of the lot, looked around himself searching for the captain. Where on earth had he gone anyway and why had he taken them for a walk? It was very strange and Bryan was a little bit scared.

Tapping a finger against his chin, the lilac haired coloured male thought hard about the latter question. Had he finally come to his senses and realized there was more to life than staying inside a house beyblading and laughing at the elderly on television? Or was there more to it? Ever since Boris had proposed to Judy, Tala had been acting a little out of character.

But Bryan personally didn't mind. He enjoyed freedom, even if it meant a trip to the local park. At least it was something. "Here duckie, duckie, duckie," he cooed softly, letting the crumbs of whole meal bread slip through his fingers. The duck turned its head up to look at his hand. Bryan couldn't help but smile. Ducks were pretty cool animals. Maybe he could convince Tala to let him take one home as a pet?

The duck waddled over to the crumbs on the floor and greedily ate them. When finished, the duck looked up at Bryan again, as if trying to send him a telepathic message to feed him more food. Bryan shrugged. "Sorry duckie, no more food left from me," he said apologetically. Annoyed, the duck quacked and waddled away from him. Bryan sighed. Now what?

"Duckie?" said a voice from behind. Bryan turned his body to his right to face Kai. Kai raised his eyebrows in response. "Honestly, duckie? What are you, five?" he stated.

Bryan placed his hands on his hips and glared. "I think it is cute!" he snarled. "I like ducks!" he added, as if that justified his naming of the duck.

Kai shook his head. "I'm ashamed in you Bryan. Why not give the duck a manlier name?"

Bryan flared his nostrils. "Like what, _Hamtaro?"_he retorted sarcastically.

Kai raised his eyebrows again. "Are you on crack?" he asked.

Bryan sighed. "No Kai, I am not on crack. I was being sarcastic!" he protested, waving his arms around.

"You know what's really sad, Bryan? The fact you had to tell me you were being sarcastic," stated Kai calmly, watching Bryan's expression.

Bryan frowned, snorted then turned his back on Kai. "This discussion is over."

"I'll let you continue to play with 'Duckie' then," he snickered d then walked away.

Bryan cursed inwardly. That bastard, he thought. He shoved his hands into his pockets angrily. Who the hell did Kai think he was anyway making fun of the name Duckie? So he wasn't the most creative when it came to names, but Duckie wasn't too bad... was it? "Kai's just an asshole," Bryan said, talking to himself. "Just an ass," he added.

"Why is Kai a donkey?" a voice inquired from behind.

_"Not again",_he thought. Sighing, he turned around, looked down and saw Ian. "Kai's not a donkey Ian, he's just... an ass." _Wow, that was helpful. Not, he thought._

"But an ass is a donkey," Ian said, confused.

"An ass is also what you call the cushions just above your legs," Bryan explained.

Ian scratched his head. "Cushions?"

"Your posterior end!" Bryan exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air clearly frustrated by Ian's lack of understanding. Ian looked at him blankly. "Your buttocks," he added calmly, hoping Ian would now understand.

Ian's eyes widened. "Oh... but why are they cushions?"

"Because they are soft, round and comfortable," explained Bryan_.__Where the hell did that come from?_

"Oh," was Ian's reply.

"Where's Tala?" demanded Bryan, looking around for the crazy fiery teenager. Tala wasn't exactly hard to find as his Devil Horned hair stood out from a distance, but he still couldn't catch sight of him. Maybe Tala was climbing trees again? He did have a bit of a tree fetish. Maybe that's why they never ventured outside. For fear that Tala might hump the trees or climb the trunk and hump the higher up branches? Knowing Tala, anything was possible.

Ian pointed to a nearby tree. "He's playing with the squirrels," he said in a flat tone of voice.

Bryan arched his eyebrows. "Squirrels?"

Ian nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. He calls them 'furry bastards'."

"Why is he chasing squirrels?"

Ian shrugged. "No idea, he thinks they're funny."

_Small things amuse small minds_, thought Bryan. _At least he's not making out with the trees. I do want to keep my eyes working for at least another sixty years__, __he added as a mental afterthought._A sudden mental image of Tala feeling up a tree materialized in his mind. He shuddered, deeply traumatized by the animation playing in his head. "Bad thoughts, very bad thoughts Bryan," he physically slapped himself. "Ow!" he yelped, rubbing his hand on the now red spot on his cheek.

"HELP ME!"

Bryan and Ian exchanged confused glances. "Where the hell did that come from?"

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This is a pretty old story written way in 2007 (and previously uploaded to an abandoned account). I've made some slight changes to it, but the content is still pretty much the same. This will be a two-shot. Reviews much appreciated as always!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

**Title**

A Walk in the Park

**Summary**

Tala takes the Blitzkrieg Boys for a walk in the park, but mysteriously disappears. Will his friends be able to find him?

**Special Thanks**

zulka, Indigo Oblivion, sparkleshadowcat and kaihil lover for reviewing the previous chapter. Enjoy!

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When the boys finally reached Tala, they almost fell over in shock. Tala had no pants; they were lying at the base of the tree covered in dirt and leaves. The crazy captain of the Blitzkrieg Boys ran around in circles, arms up in the air giggling hysterically, tears running down his pale cheeks. Squirrels nipped at his heels.

"He is a nutter," Bryan said. But strangely, he felt compelled to join Tala in his madness! Tala had this amazing ability to influence others without much effort at all.

"I feel sorry for the squirrels," Ian said, pointing at a big fat squirrel sniffing Tala's pants. "The poor creature might die after sniffing that."

The squirrel pressed its nose against Tala's pants and jumped back. Bryan laughed at the sight. "It's so cute," he said. "I just wanna walk over, pick it up and give it a cuddle." Of course that wouldn't be such a bright idea. Squirrels _could _fight back. They might look cute and cuddly, but they were deadly creatures!

"HELP ME!" Tala screamed again.

Bryan glanced at Ian. "Why does he want help? It looks like he's enjoying himself."

Ian shrugged. "He's a crazy man. Just let him run around in circles until he wears himself out." Tala wasn't exactly the most ripped man about. In fact, he struggled to do star jumps for a minute. Even running around the lounge sofa made him breathless.

At this precise moment Spencer strutted up to his friends, completely dressed in a black leather outfit. A giant rainbow lollipop almost as big as his head, was held firmly in his left hand. He brought the lollipop to his mouth and licked it, making a deep prolonged moaning noise. Bryan and Ian just stared, ignoring Tala's cries of help. Feeling their heavy stares, Spencer pulled the lollipop away and stared back. "What?"

Bryan lifted a brow. "A gigantic lollipop?" He really wanted one.

Spencer shook his head. "Only Goths are allowed such things."

Spencer wasn't a Goth, but he thought he was. He believed dressing in black qualified him as one. Bryan wanted to point out some kids might mistake him for an emo, but he really didn't want to receive a punch from his giant friend. One punch _could _kill. "Tala's gone mad."

The dirty blond haired man looked at his captain and scratched his hooked nose. "Wasn't he always mad to begin with?"

Bryan stroked his chin. "Good point. Do you think we should help him?" He pointed to Tala's pants on the floor. "He's starting to scare the children," he added, jerking his head in the direction of a passing mother and her two daughters.

"Cover your eyes children!" the mother said, urging them to walk faster.

Bryan turned back to Spencer. "See what I mean?"

Now Kai decided to bless them with his presence. With hands dug deeply into his baggy pants and a lopsided grin on his stupid face, Kai walked towards them, his eyes shining with mirth. "Did you give up on Duckie?" he teased.

Bryan really wanted to ram his fist into Kai's dumb face, but thought against it. He'd deal with Kai later. Pushing him into the lake sounded like a good idea. "I hate you Kai," he said through clenched teeth. He remembered the time Kai had beaten him in an art competition. Kai had drawn a giant pink blob surrounded by many other pink blobs and claimed first prize. When he was asked what he had drawn, he explained the blob was Barney and the other blobs were his friends.

Bryan on the other hand ended up painting a picture of the world's sexiest man, Boris Balkov. He had thought his painting of a bare-chested Boris with chiseled abs would win him first prize, but no. Voltaire, also known as theDarkness, accused Bryan of trying to appeal to the audience. He ended up with the 'Loser of the Year' award. It was a very crushing event.

Kai smirked wide. "I love you too Bryan."

"You must be the one on crack," Bryan retorted. He was getting too old for such petty debates with Kai.

Luckily, Spencer decided to stop their argument by pointing at Tala. Tala was now lying on the grass slapping the ground with his fists. The squirrels climbed back up their tree and watched him. "He's exhausted himself," he pointed out. "Now we can put his pants on and get the hell out of here."

Ian nodded. "That sounds like a plan. But who is going to put his pants back on? I really don't want to go there."

Bryan, Kai and Spencer exchanged horrified glances. They didn't want to touch Tala's clothes either, but they knew someone had to do it. When Tala was exhausted, he acted like a mad drunk. He was weird like that. Bryan pointed a fat finger at Kai. "I think he should."

Kai shook his head. "No, I think you should Bryan."

"Spencer should. He's the emo."

"I'm NOT emo!" Spencer shouted. "I'm a Goth!" He shook his lollipop threateningly at Bryan. "For that, I think you should be the one to dress Tala."

Kai exchanged high-fives with Spencer, an evil smirk plastered on his face. "Yeah, Spencer's right." Even that little midget Ian nodded.

Bryan had never witnessed such ugliness before. It was almost overwhelming. But unfortunately, he had no choice. Muttering to himself about horrible friends, he marched over to Tala's ugly disco pants and threw them over Tala's lower half. "Come on Tala, pull yourself together man," Bryan urged.

Tala giggled. "Furry bastards."

Bryan rolled his eyes. "They're called squirrels Tala."

"Hee hee hee," he laughed.

He's delirious, Bryan thought. Perhaps giving Tala a sharp kick in the ribs would knock some sense into him? It was worth a try. He aimed hard. Tala flinched and bolted upright, his bright blue eyes blazing with anger. "What was that for?" he demanded.

"You've gone mad. You need to put your pants on. No one wants to see that." He shuddered.

Tala grabbed his pants and put them back on, never taking his eyes off Bryan. "I was playing with the furry bastards."

"And everytime you do, you lose your mind." A sharp kick to the ribs seemed to do the trick. He wondered if it would work against Kai.

Tala picked himself up from the floor and dusted his pants. He arched his neck back and waved goodbye to the squirrels. "I promise I will see you again," he said. Bryan knew he was serious. "Let's go back home."

And that was the walk in the park.

And thankfully Bryan did not have to dress Tala.

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I really just wanted to finish this once and for all. I hope you found it enjoyable (and a little crazy). It's been awhile since I've written anything parody related. As always, reviews much appreciated!


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